I think I go through spells of what I'm interested in, but these last for months at a time. I'm thinking, though, that if I could identify the order of my interests, I could somehow harness that power, like a bolt of lighting and frankenstein.
It seems to, at least sometimes, go - that I just play a ton of video games cause I just want to be entertained - then I feel as though I'm wasting my life on the video games, so I stop them, and get really productive. During those times I'll try to write a lot, read a lot of books, research things...etc. At some point I start to see the inadequacy of these pursuits and I get kind of wistful and musical, and like to plan trips and write fiction. Then I think that degrades back into just being entertained and the cycle starts again.
I just came up with this a couple weeks ago and I might just be creating it in my own mind - but if it's true it could explain why I, for instance, want to change my proposed major every few months (it's still philosophy, for the time), or why I'll have spells of weeks when I am very social and entertaining, and spells where I just like to go home and do whatever it is I do. Maybe everyone has these kinds of things, but I just wonder if the ebb and flow doesn't have a logic to it.
Right now I'm productive. That's lasted me a while - maybe I can form that into a habit so it'll just become me. I'm reading a lot of books (Neitzsche, right now), studying math, cleaning my apartment. It's during these times that I'm most optimistic about what mankind, and I, specifically, could accomplish with focus. It's during these times that Benjamin Franklin's attempts to perfect himself seem like something to consider, rather than laugh at. Maybe what takes me out of these times, though, is getting lonely. Not many of these kinds of pursuits are conducive to a crowd, with any honesty at least, though their worth it.
I guess a balance would be what the psychologist would prescribe, Chuck Palahnuik wrote, "trust me, you won't look back and savor the moments you spent alone."
But Neitzsche apparently did, as he wrote, "All great things occur away from glory and the market-place...Flee, my friend, into your solitude."
2 comments:
I have the same problem of losing interest in things after I've encountered them for a while or reasonably mastered them. I think you've inherited that boredom factor from me. I like variety, learning new things, then I'm ready to move on to something else...probably why I never finished college because I couldn't settle on a major (among other reasons).
I don't think we can be truly fulfilled, unless we're spending at least a portion of our time focusing on the needs and serving others. If everything is focused inward, we aren't much help to anyone in making the world a better place. That's how we show our love for one another...by meeting their needs.
I feel like I have to force myself to balance ...
Feel what a good % of your time should be spent reading, FORCE yourself to take a break and watch a TV show, schedule time in to play and be creative (which sounds odd, but it works) ...
Doing is learning. If you make your body/brain do certain things, you'll get used to it and do it automatically ...
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