Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Two percocet, some cotton soaked in clove juice, an upset stomach, and about twenty starburst jelly beans later, and I'm writing a blog entry at one in the morning. It was dry socket, I'm out of pills, and I have no ambition.

Hemingway was the man's man of writers. He used to tie himself to his chair, get drunk, and go until he passed out I guess. I may do the same tonight. Lewis Carroll's drug of choice was LSD, why can't mine be prescription?

Today I discovered that I can feel the hole in my lower left gums, and my upper right one is starting to hurt. It may degrade into dry socket like my lower right. I suppose I can stand the pain, and it's odd, but one of the main things I take into consideration when delegating my hope is whether it will get me out of work or not. This may, so I'm crossing my fingers for it.

I don't know if it's the sitting in a room with the same people, the sense of no direction, or the knowledge that I'm forced to take part in a system I don't believe in and am not interested in, like a minaret that hate's disco forced to perform Saturday Night Fever, but on the days I don't go to work compared with those when I do I find it's the difference between trying to spot a zebra in the serengeti or in a polka-dot pillow sale. That is, I don't feel quite at home. That is, I feel like an entirely different human being that thinks he wants things, and wants to appear certain ways, that the me laying on my floral patterned couch wearing a floral patterned bath robe would never even consider. That wasn't suggesting I'm hiding something like Heath in Brokeback Mountain was, it's a throwback to the camouflage analogy.

To keep this from getting too heavy (I was told that "ism" don't make for good crowd interaction in a place that ends in .com) I'll clarify that yes, now I have gotten dry socket in one tooth. They packed it with some kind of cottony looking stuff that is supposed to act as "scaffolding" for the gums to repair themselves. Apparently the scaffolding my body provided took a long union break, then went on strike, or went to protest the damage being wreaked on the liver, or something. Except there were no scabs to bring in this time: pun intended. This cottony stuff was soaked in an oil that smells like cloves and tastes like digested and crapped out cloves, and ended up making me feel high and nauseous by the end of the night. I said, "My feet feel far away."

I'm reminded of Shawshank Redemption. "You know, the funny thing is, on the outside I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook." I was a good high schooler, and it took me joining the military to get me tripping the light fantastic, kissing the sky, etc. Going to the square dance. That's an LSD reference.

The professor has been very sweet lately. I need to put seed in the bird feeder outside my window. My hair is even more red looking since I tried to bleach it. I still don't have a camera. Licorice tea is delicious, but somewhat hard to find. Why must emotions nearly always skew relationships for the worse? I'm very satisfied with my last round of shopping. The joy of intellectual stimulation is something akin to sex and I don't know how I get along when I'm not having it. A new office is on this Thursday, I think. Happy Birthday Amy, I'll give her a more proper post tomorrow, when I also buy her gift. Chinese is a useful skill, like when the seamstress only speaks chinese, and gives you a huge discount when you chat with her in it.

This is where I sleep, little whiskered ones.

"A cat may look at a king. I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where."

Schism

"Amherst, New York (March 3, 2008)—The most detailed estimates to date of Americans' religious affiliations reports that a significant portion of U.S. citizens claim "none of the above," placing the unaffiliated second only to Roman Catholics in number. Monday's release of the 35,000-respondent U.S. Religious Landscape Survey from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life shows that 16.1 percent of Americans have no particular religion at all, while 23.9 percent identify themselves as Catholic. The next largest "belief group" is Evangelical Baptist at 10.8 percent. All other denominational groupings show in the single digits or less."

Here's my question to anyone that might be reading this, and I'm not trying to spark a debate on this topic, just want to see what your reaction is. I won't even respond to any comments left unless you ask me to. But what do you think of this result? Is is surprising? Where do you think the country is going and what do you think about that? Is America really a Christian nation? Are faith and religiosity necessary for a moral or free society, as Mitt Romney would have us believe?

Full article here.

For Your Service

There was a flyer up at my work that was noticed by a few friends of mine. "Free tickets to the Nebraska - Kansas St. Game". We just had to go in uniform.
Two of my friends, Copp and Wing, saw it, and they being football fans, wanted to go. I said I'd go too, thinking it was in Omaha. It ended up being in Lincoln, 45 minutes away, but not horrible. We drove down there today and stood on the sidelines, just behind the fence where the players and media all go. I think we may have gotten on TV too. During half time we were all leaning on said fence and one of the cameras came over and we were put up on the big megatron thing, or whatever it's called - bunch of Air Force cats in flight suits.
The whole day people were going by, shaking our hands, saluting us, some 10 year old said "Thank you for your service." Why is it that when people say that I just want to say "Shut up, leave me alone."? I wonder if it's cause I joined for purely selfish reasons, or because I don't want to be in anymore. It's because I don't like the system, and don't like how I feel completely pointless where I am - going thru 2 years of language training to just be a warm body on a plane.
I'll never go to China, never really use Chinese again in my job, once I graduate from this class. I appreciate being able to learn chinese, and yeah I've had to deal with this shit, some of which the vast majority of the population can't really relate to at all and will never experience even to a small degree- but I didn't do it for anyone's service.
I did it for free credits, free college money, and free parking. It must be a kind of shame I feel. Like I should be more patriotic, should look at the kids and say, "I'm fighting for your freedom kid." Just leave me alone. I'm just another working stiff that hates his job, it's just cause I wear green and a dumb looking hat that you might think I'm special. But I never graduated from college, gave up on my dreams, took the structure over the freedom, god knows why. I'll probably never be shot at, and if I am, it's cause I'll go to jail if I refuse to run out into the line of fire - not because I believe in anything - any kind of cause. That's how most of "The Service" is, whether they admit it or not. There are the few gung ho master sergeants and wannabe pilots - but the rest of us just want to get our 20 year retirement, or 3 year GI Bill, or clearance, or alcohol, and then forget we ever -literally- signed our life away. We appreciate the appreciation, somewhere deep down, and some of us think we deserve it, but for most all of us it's a job with good benefits, crappy pay, bad hours, and low morale. So if it's a service to you to deal with that, you're welcome.
Your taxes pay my salary, but then, my own taxes do too.

The Promised

So I'm going to write a bit about my life right now. I just read andrew's blog where he gets to talk about what he learns at work/school. I can't really do that generally, which makes it difficult. But rest assured that this rockin classified stuff I'm learning is generally the kind of stuff you'd look at and say, "That's IT!?" You know, psychic brain probes and remote viewing.

What is the government not telling you? I know, and it's not that exciting. And no, it doesn't make Bush a better President, or make a Cheney or more honest man if you knew what was going on behind closed doors.

So now, where am I? I've started the class I'll probably be in till about Christmas time. I like the people in my class a lot - between séances we find time for sudoku and general merry-making. I had my first graded sim today and passed. I think I can say that and not be saying anything illegal. Yes, it was playing the sims and being graded. I had to add a third story to my family's house and make the husband and wife make woopee in the hot tub. I was nervous, but it was no big deal, as things tend to be when you start actually doing them.

On tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays we play ultimate frisbee for pc (physical conditioning). I'm usually picked pretty early on despite often throwing bad passes and elbowing people in the face (unintentionally of course (not really)). It's getting humid and hot here, and the base is near an Iams or Friskies or something factory where they make dog food. So sometimes you walk outside in 90+ degree weather, 70%+ humidity, and it smells like horse carcass and you just wanna puke all over the ground. You get out of the shower and feel like you wanna get right back in, but it's not that bad. I like how it feels at 5:30 in the morning when I go to work (on the 6am to 12pm shift right now). But the gym we're in for ultimate (we play in an indoor soccer field) has no exhaust and...I don't think has any air conditioning...so it's gotta be like 3000% humidity. You set your car keys down on the bench and you start pouring sweat.

I come home and I read books and read stuff online mostly, occasionally watch a movie, man vs. wild, the daily show, or the colbert report. That's about what encompasses my weekdays. I avoid loading/unloading the dishwasher as long as I can, as well as going grocery shopping. So I usually have clean dishes sitting in the dishwasher, nothing but tuna and boxed rice in the cupboard, and dried cheese/whatever I mixed it with (chips, eggs) stuck on the plates in the sink. Then I end up just drinking the last bit of the big 2 gallon jug of water straight from the container in the fridge before caving and spending my $200 on my sex-weekly (okay that sounds scandalous - what would it be? bi weekly, tri, quad...what's six?) grocery shopping trip.

The Professor's still pretty cool, but I think he's been gaining weight just sitting around all day, so I've started putting his food up while I leave. I'd love to let him out but there are 2 problems:
1) When I put a collar on him he just jacks with it till he can get it off.
2) The door to my apartment is in a hall that has another door to the outside, so when he'd want back in I don't know how I'd know unless I could train him to come to the window he escaped out of.
I'd also like to let him out cause he's starting doing this obnoxious meow, and sitting by the door - obviously trying to tell me he wants to go out. But he does it at like 2 am and wakes me up. I don't know why he keeps it up cause I haven't once actually let him out while he does it. I've started saying "Quiet!" and chasing him around a little.

Let's see...anything else to add? Taking a computer class online thru Metro Community College to fulfill what I need to get my associates degree thru DLI. I'm signed up for a biology class and a college algebra class next semester. I felt pretty proud of myself and I'll tell you why: Sophomore year in high school I took Algebra 2/Trig. After that year I took a math placement test at the comm college in So Cal and I tested into college math/statistics...like the math 140 range. Didn't actually take any classes until 2 years later after I graduated. I had to take the math placement test again and I tested into the math 070 range! Which is basically Algebra 2/Trig again. So in 2002 I took that class again. It has hence been 5 years. I had to take a math placement test again, so I bought an Algebra book and studied on my own before taking it. I got thru the book and tested into statistics...so like the math 140 range. So after 5 years of no math I managed to test into the same level as I did right after I finished the highest math I've taken. So I felt pretty good about that.

I actually like math now. I like figuring stuff out just thru logic - stuff that I don't necessarily know the real formula for. I always liked the humanities esk subjects more...but on the standardized tests in high school I always did better on the math parts.

I think that's quite long enough for now. Maybe more later. I'm sure there's more.

More: I work here.

Some Say We'll See Armageddon Soon...

The Palestinian President has dissolved the government and is now ruling by presidential decree to hope to control the situation between them and Hamas...

And the crickets outside MY window won't shut up!

Slaves to Laws

I think that we, as Americans especially (maybe it's true for all of humanity, I don't know), have to be really careful that, in the wake of something that makes us feel insecure or unsafe - like a tragedy - we don't see our mistakes as more than they are, and push too far the other way.

After 9/11 we said, "never again," and then came the patriot act.

Now, after the VATech shooting, some people are looking at creative writing as indicative of potential violence. But if stuff is happening like what's in the link up there, it needs to stop. Good god, if violent writing meant violent behavior the writers of Saw, Fight Club, and Braveheart should be mass murderers - we need a little perspective.

Fascism

Take a look at this.

I think it was probably more controversial when it was made 2 years ago, when what it says wasn't so close to what a lot of americans themselves are saying. So do you think it's true? Or what parts of it do you think are false?

Another question I guess would be, if it's accusations against America are correct, is America's position on this matter morally wrong? When it says that the war on terror is the war on anyone that opposes American domination, should American leaders feel remorse about anything except that that's not a very sensitive way of putting it? Is it wrong for a country to go to war against people that oppose their own global domination? Or is that what all countries do, and America just currently has the power to make their war the most far reaching?

Give me your thoughts, if you have any on this subject.

Beware

This will be pretty offensive, to some of you - which is fitting considering it's a 20 minute speech about freedom of speech given in Canada in reaction to a proposed bill to limit hate speech. It's pretty powerful stuff.

Apparently this guys a drunk and maybe a druggie, which is how the people that are commenting on this video are criticizing him. But what he says has to stand on it's own whether it's said by Buddha, or Charles Manson, and I think it does.

The Recourse

In my time out, I also rented 2 movies. An Inconvenient Truth, and Lady in the Water. I haven't watched Lady in the Water, but I did finish watching AIT just a bit ago. It does seem really important, and despite critics it's hard to see any sort of ulterior motive in wanting to make a film like this. The only thing I could think of would be political motives on the part of Al Gore, but that seems to not be very likely considering he pushed this platform before, during, and after he was in office. It seems like people are pushing this not to make money, I don't see how you really would, but maybe because they really think it's true. The Earth will fix itself, I don't think that's the issue - the issue is that there's no guarantee mankind will be around to see the fixing. That may be hard for a Christian to believe. Polls say 22% of Americans are convinced Jesus will return in their lifetime, and another 22% are reasonably sure. That's 44% of America that should not be influencing our future, and the decisions now that will affect our future. This is not a point of view that lends itself to developing lasting solutions in this world. I can remember, years ago, talking to my Uncle Ted about how enviromental issues aren't a big deal because, as I said, "It's all gonna burn in the end." I admit that this is not a very sophisticated point of view, nor is it the point of view I'm sure most of you have. But it is the logical conclusion of biblical fundamentalism. Especially coupled with the fact that Christians (as well as Muslims, Jews, Hindus) believe that God is in full control of what happens on earth - leads me to be frightened that it's impossible for a proclaimed atheist to get elected, and at the fact that our current president is a literalist that conducts prayer meetings and bible studies throughout the whitehouse. There's no indication that Jesus is coming, there is no indication that God is in control of anything, there is no indication there is anything acting on our lives and on this earth except for nature and us, and it's time our politics and policies began reflecting that.