In Desperation

Everything so far has fallen through. Here's the deal. On October 1 I'm deploying until sometime next June, when I'm getting out of the military. I have this cat, The Professor. He's totally awesome. He's friendly and handsome and he fetches and sleeps under covers and is front declawed/spayed (or neutered. I forget which it is for a guy).

I'm trying to find someone that can keep him until probably Julyish next year, when I move to wherever I'm gonna be for at least a little while. If at all possible, I don't want to get rid of him. He's the coolest cat I've had. If you can take him for that time, or if you know someone that can, please let me know. I'd pay for all his food and cat litter and then some on top. If I can, I'd like him to go somewhere where there's no other animals, just so there's no drama, but if that can't happen, no big deal. He's been fine with every animal I've seen him with after the initial cattiness.

I can ship him anywhere if the person I find to take care of him isn't here in Nebraska.

He's a couple more pictures of him looking cute.

Mr. Mostafolese

Before I go see Dark Knight again

This is a cool website that was on www.digg.com . This guy strapped a camera to his cat that takes periodic pictures. It's actually pretty cool.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Two percocet, some cotton soaked in clove juice, an upset stomach, and about twenty starburst jelly beans later, and I'm writing a blog entry at one in the morning. It was dry socket, I'm out of pills, and I have no ambition.

Hemingway was the man's man of writers. He used to tie himself to his chair, get drunk, and go until he passed out I guess. I may do the same tonight. Lewis Carroll's drug of choice was LSD, why can't mine be prescription?

Today I discovered that I can feel the hole in my lower left gums, and my upper right one is starting to hurt. It may degrade into dry socket like my lower right. I suppose I can stand the pain, and it's odd, but one of the main things I take into consideration when delegating my hope is whether it will get me out of work or not. This may, so I'm crossing my fingers for it.

I don't know if it's the sitting in a room with the same people, the sense of no direction, or the knowledge that I'm forced to take part in a system I don't believe in and am not interested in, like a minaret that hate's disco forced to perform Saturday Night Fever, but on the days I don't go to work compared with those when I do I find it's the difference between trying to spot a zebra in the serengeti or in a polka-dot pillow sale. That is, I don't feel quite at home. That is, I feel like an entirely different human being that thinks he wants things, and wants to appear certain ways, that the me laying on my floral patterned couch wearing a floral patterned bath robe would never even consider. That wasn't suggesting I'm hiding something like Heath in Brokeback Mountain was, it's a throwback to the camouflage analogy.

To keep this from getting too heavy (I was told that "ism" don't make for good crowd interaction in a place that ends in .com) I'll clarify that yes, now I have gotten dry socket in one tooth. They packed it with some kind of cottony looking stuff that is supposed to act as "scaffolding" for the gums to repair themselves. Apparently the scaffolding my body provided took a long union break, then went on strike, or went to protest the damage being wreaked on the liver, or something. Except there were no scabs to bring in this time: pun intended. This cottony stuff was soaked in an oil that smells like cloves and tastes like digested and crapped out cloves, and ended up making me feel high and nauseous by the end of the night. I said, "My feet feel far away."

I'm reminded of Shawshank Redemption. "You know, the funny thing is, on the outside I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook." I was a good high schooler, and it took me joining the military to get me tripping the light fantastic, kissing the sky, etc. Going to the square dance. That's an LSD reference.

The professor has been very sweet lately. I need to put seed in the bird feeder outside my window. My hair is even more red looking since I tried to bleach it. I still don't have a camera. Licorice tea is delicious, but somewhat hard to find. Why must emotions nearly always skew relationships for the worse? I'm very satisfied with my last round of shopping. The joy of intellectual stimulation is something akin to sex and I don't know how I get along when I'm not having it. A new office is on this Thursday, I think. Happy Birthday Amy, I'll give her a more proper post tomorrow, when I also buy her gift. Chinese is a useful skill, like when the seamstress only speaks chinese, and gives you a huge discount when you chat with her in it.

This is where I sleep, little whiskered ones.

"A cat may look at a king. I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where."

The Reason I Only Talk About My Cat...

Is because I have no life.

That said. I went out Friday night with people from my class to a bar called Double Down. It's sorta like a sports bar I guess...there's a deck outside and sand volleyball courts...but that's kinda it. Everything else is just sorta thrown in to make it sporty, it seemed to me. Wednesday was Tucker's birthday, so that's why we went. Redbull and vodka is a decent drink - cause I gotta not drink smirnoff ice - I am getting REEEMed for it.

Then yesterday I slept till about noon, woke up...took my laundry to the korean lady, went grocery shopping (it's been a good...month and a half), picked up my laundry...went home...fell asleep till 9 pm. Got up, played some video games, read some harry potter, fell asleep at about 3 am. Then I just woke up at about 2 pm cause the Professor came in, making a weird meow. It's cause his mouth had a big cricket in it he had found somewhere. I encouraged him so he'd keep killing the bastards.

The other day my friend Jason Copp came over and brought his new puppy. They're naming him Rudy, but I thought he should have been named Gyro.

The Promised

So I'm going to write a bit about my life right now. I just read andrew's blog where he gets to talk about what he learns at work/school. I can't really do that generally, which makes it difficult. But rest assured that this rockin classified stuff I'm learning is generally the kind of stuff you'd look at and say, "That's IT!?" You know, psychic brain probes and remote viewing.

What is the government not telling you? I know, and it's not that exciting. And no, it doesn't make Bush a better President, or make a Cheney or more honest man if you knew what was going on behind closed doors.

So now, where am I? I've started the class I'll probably be in till about Christmas time. I like the people in my class a lot - between séances we find time for sudoku and general merry-making. I had my first graded sim today and passed. I think I can say that and not be saying anything illegal. Yes, it was playing the sims and being graded. I had to add a third story to my family's house and make the husband and wife make woopee in the hot tub. I was nervous, but it was no big deal, as things tend to be when you start actually doing them.

On tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays we play ultimate frisbee for pc (physical conditioning). I'm usually picked pretty early on despite often throwing bad passes and elbowing people in the face (unintentionally of course (not really)). It's getting humid and hot here, and the base is near an Iams or Friskies or something factory where they make dog food. So sometimes you walk outside in 90+ degree weather, 70%+ humidity, and it smells like horse carcass and you just wanna puke all over the ground. You get out of the shower and feel like you wanna get right back in, but it's not that bad. I like how it feels at 5:30 in the morning when I go to work (on the 6am to 12pm shift right now). But the gym we're in for ultimate (we play in an indoor soccer field) has no exhaust and...I don't think has any air conditioning...so it's gotta be like 3000% humidity. You set your car keys down on the bench and you start pouring sweat.

I come home and I read books and read stuff online mostly, occasionally watch a movie, man vs. wild, the daily show, or the colbert report. That's about what encompasses my weekdays. I avoid loading/unloading the dishwasher as long as I can, as well as going grocery shopping. So I usually have clean dishes sitting in the dishwasher, nothing but tuna and boxed rice in the cupboard, and dried cheese/whatever I mixed it with (chips, eggs) stuck on the plates in the sink. Then I end up just drinking the last bit of the big 2 gallon jug of water straight from the container in the fridge before caving and spending my $200 on my sex-weekly (okay that sounds scandalous - what would it be? bi weekly, tri, quad...what's six?) grocery shopping trip.

The Professor's still pretty cool, but I think he's been gaining weight just sitting around all day, so I've started putting his food up while I leave. I'd love to let him out but there are 2 problems:
1) When I put a collar on him he just jacks with it till he can get it off.
2) The door to my apartment is in a hall that has another door to the outside, so when he'd want back in I don't know how I'd know unless I could train him to come to the window he escaped out of.
I'd also like to let him out cause he's starting doing this obnoxious meow, and sitting by the door - obviously trying to tell me he wants to go out. But he does it at like 2 am and wakes me up. I don't know why he keeps it up cause I haven't once actually let him out while he does it. I've started saying "Quiet!" and chasing him around a little.

Let's see...anything else to add? Taking a computer class online thru Metro Community College to fulfill what I need to get my associates degree thru DLI. I'm signed up for a biology class and a college algebra class next semester. I felt pretty proud of myself and I'll tell you why: Sophomore year in high school I took Algebra 2/Trig. After that year I took a math placement test at the comm college in So Cal and I tested into college math/statistics...like the math 140 range. Didn't actually take any classes until 2 years later after I graduated. I had to take the math placement test again and I tested into the math 070 range! Which is basically Algebra 2/Trig again. So in 2002 I took that class again. It has hence been 5 years. I had to take a math placement test again, so I bought an Algebra book and studied on my own before taking it. I got thru the book and tested into statistics...so like the math 140 range. So after 5 years of no math I managed to test into the same level as I did right after I finished the highest math I've taken. So I felt pretty good about that.

I actually like math now. I like figuring stuff out just thru logic - stuff that I don't necessarily know the real formula for. I always liked the humanities esk subjects more...but on the standardized tests in high school I always did better on the math parts.

I think that's quite long enough for now. Maybe more later. I'm sure there's more.

More: I work here.

The Mediocre Escape

One: The Professor, caught in this photograph in wicked contemplation of his next devilish plot.

Two: Sunday morning, May the 20th.

Three: A streak of some-to-very hot days finds the home of The Professor often with windows ajar as to let the cool night air calm the teeming innards of the apartment. The Professor could often be found next to these unsuspecting windows, apparently making aggressive noises at birds and children - alledgedy contemplating eating one. In reality, his intentions were far more sinister.

Four: The exit. On said morning in said location at one of said windows the owner of the ne'er do weller cat awoke to find exibit B - a screen cunningly dislodged from its place of...rest. Knowing that the cat would most likely seek to return to his gang - The Jets - with whom he used to "prowl," and not knowing how long The Professor had been at large, due to said owner sleeping a lot, said owner took to the streets.

Five: Several frantic minutes pass as said owner wanders said streets in search of said transient Professor. Finally, when all hope seemed lost, said owner steps back into the hallways of his apartment building, wondering if maybe, just maybe, through the months of a cush life in said apartment, the alley had gone out of the cat.

Six: Tentative meows come from the stairs next to door to said apartment. Indeed, it is the Professor. Lost and alone, he has returned to the hallway in front of said owners door which he frequents frequently. Mystery solved.

Breaking News: Professor apprehended again attempting another buggardly escape attempt during the writing of this very blog. Perhaps we've not yet heard the last of this...Mediocre Escape!!

I have a Cat

And he's pretty cute.

The Magic of Valentine's Day

So it turns out I did have a valentine. My parents, awwwwww. I didn't know it until today though cause the package they sent didn't arrive till yesterday or today, and I didn't check my mail till today. They sent me nerds and beef jerky, and then I asked the professor to be my valentine, and gave him a piece of beef jerky.He said he already had a girlfriend.

There's a Hole in my Bucket

Dear Liza Dear Liza

I realize I've been tagged to talk about my weird things...and I may still...I've gotta think of some.

Otherwise, I'm leaving tomorrow to drive Erin's stuff to Cali, then drive to Phoenix. The only part I'm worried about with driving that big truck is just the snow here and maybe some snow I'll hit in Coloradoish, cause I don't think rental places give you chains or even allow you to put on your own.

It's 22 hours. I'm leaving friday afternoon and want to get to Santa Clarita by Monday. I don't think it'll be a problem. I drove 15 hours straigh after being awake all night the night before. So hopefully I can get to Phoenix on Tuesday if not late on Monday, then I'm leaving Friday again.

Sort of anticlimactic after the going away party, but I'm planning on just eating cheese in my parents garage the whole time I'm there, so no worries about awkwardness with seeing anyone.

Also the Professor's finally getting better. The snot sort of transfered to his eye, which is gross. At first it was just clear goo coming out, of his eye, but then it changed to the green and yellow stuff and it made his eyes swell - i'm thinking it's like when your nose drains at night and you wake up with a sore throat...except it's his eye. Blegh.

Also I went into an airforce clinic to get my shot records and I was due for a flu shot so they gave me that. The first year we got them I was real excited that I wouldn't get a cold then. But every time I've gotten them they've CAUSED me to get a cold. So I'm drinking plenty of fluids and I went ahead and slept late, just to stay healthy, you know.

The Professor

Here's the guy. I don't think he's eaten anything still. But he'll get hungry enough I'm thinking that it won't matter if he likes what I got him or not. This picture's with the new camera I got today. It was only like 75 bucks, and I don't think I can set the white balance, just pick from some presets, so that's what you get. I'll have more pictures of my apartment and stuff. It's pretty cluttered still.

Felinicide

Not to be confused with the hit TV show, Felicity, this is a word describing the deaths of at least thousands of cats EVERY DAY. I was in the animal shelter, debating whether to get a cat or to wait till I had situated my stuff (which came today and is blocking most walkways at the moment).

I started talking to one of the girls that worked there, and I think I asked about why there were no older cats, cause the oldest was only like 3-4 years old. She said it's usually the older ones that get put to sleep first. I said, Oh, so you put some to sleep recently? And she said, Yeah, we have to put some to sleep every day. It all depends on how many come in each day. For instance, today 3 came in, so tomorrow we have to put 3 to sleep. Some days 10 come in, so we have to put 10 to sleep the next day. Whaaaaaa?

So that sealed it. I was looking at this 3 year old male siamese who was really cool looking. I've never seen a real siamese in a shelter, so I got him. 20 bucks, cause he was neutered and everything, even front declawed. The people who gave him up gave him up cause he was getting jealous of the baby they were having or something. They had named him Courage though, so clearly they didn't know anything about him. His name is obviously "The Professor."

He's three. So by the time he dies, if he lives to 15, I'll be 34. Good god. I hope I don't need a walker.

More

My stuff is coming tomorrow, which means goodbye air mattress, maybe.

Once my stuff is arranged I'm thinking of getting a cat, which means that amy and andrew can't stay with me unless I get a hairless cat, which isn't an option, but I can put amy and andrew up in billetting on base which will be like staying with me only cheaper and hopefully with more consistant water temperature. The water temperature here varies from mountain-stream-cold to I-have-to-grab-the-shower-curtain-to-use-as-a-shield-hot, all without the inconvenience of actually having to turn the knob on the faucet. I'm thinking of naming the cat Professor ______. Suggestions? The best I've thought of so far is Professor Eyeball. I'll call him/her Professor most of the time.

There is a "laundramat" (laundrymatte?) in this apartment building but it's $2.50 to do a load from wash to dry. Instead, I could take it to a Korean lady right at the base entrance who does it all, including ironing and folding, for $4, which is what I'll be doing. I can also say "Anyanghaseo," to her when I come in, in hopes of a discount (that's hello in korean, it's konichiwah in japanese, ni hao in chinese, and olé in spanish).

I'm probably going to get some new furniture, so I'd also like suggestions for a color scheme. As previously stated the carpet is tan and the walls are white. Red and black seems like it could work. Remember, nothing floral, and no variants of pink, with exception of red. I'll also be installing a disco ball, but I fear that in order to go with a red/black color scheme, I'll have to get a gold one, and those went out in the late 90s. But I'm not sure, any previous experience in this area?