There was a flyer up at my work that was noticed by a few friends of mine. "Free tickets to the Nebraska - Kansas St. Game". We just had to go in uniform.
Two of my friends, Copp and Wing, saw it, and they being football fans, wanted to go. I said I'd go too, thinking it was in Omaha. It ended up being in Lincoln, 45 minutes away, but not horrible. We drove down there today and stood on the sidelines, just behind the fence where the players and media all go. I think we may have gotten on TV too. During half time we were all leaning on said fence and one of the cameras came over and we were put up on the big megatron thing, or whatever it's called - bunch of Air Force cats in flight suits.
The whole day people were going by, shaking our hands, saluting us, some 10 year old said "Thank you for your service." Why is it that when people say that I just want to say "Shut up, leave me alone."? I wonder if it's cause I joined for purely selfish reasons, or because I don't want to be in anymore. It's because I don't like the system, and don't like how I feel completely pointless where I am - going thru 2 years of language training to just be a warm body on a plane.
I'll never go to China, never really use Chinese again in my job, once I graduate from this class. I appreciate being able to learn chinese, and yeah I've had to deal with this shit, some of which the vast majority of the population can't really relate to at all and will never experience even to a small degree- but I didn't do it for anyone's service.
I did it for free credits, free college money, and free parking. It must be a kind of shame I feel. Like I should be more patriotic, should look at the kids and say, "I'm fighting for your freedom kid." Just leave me alone. I'm just another working stiff that hates his job, it's just cause I wear green and a dumb looking hat that you might think I'm special. But I never graduated from college, gave up on my dreams, took the structure over the freedom, god knows why. I'll probably never be shot at, and if I am, it's cause I'll go to jail if I refuse to run out into the line of fire - not because I believe in anything - any kind of cause. That's how most of "The Service" is, whether they admit it or not. There are the few gung ho master sergeants and wannabe pilots - but the rest of us just want to get our 20 year retirement, or 3 year GI Bill, or clearance, or alcohol, and then forget we ever -literally- signed our life away. We appreciate the appreciation, somewhere deep down, and some of us think we deserve it, but for most all of us it's a job with good benefits, crappy pay, bad hours, and low morale. So if it's a service to you to deal with that, you're welcome.
Your taxes pay my salary, but then, my own taxes do too.
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4 comments:
Do you think the majority of men and women in the service have always felt like that, or just recently with the current Administration?
Hang in there and thanks for being polite to the people who come up to you. Even if your basic motive is not to "serve your country", you're still doing it to some degree and they are appreciative of your sacrifice. Just think, if there weren't people volunteering (like you) they would reinstate the draft and some of those thankful folks would be forced to "serve" without any choice.
I hope you get to use your Mandarin after you're out. That would be a shame to waste such a unique gift.
bet you didn't know i read your blog every now and then? so yah, many men and women feel the same way you do, i know from seeing it first hand when dwight was based in north carolina and i got my first dose of military "life". but for sure i know that there are tons of marines out there who did join to be heroes, and they truly are....even if war sucks, which i totally think it does. i mean, i'm a hippie who gives birth to my children at home alone, and i just want to stick it to the man when it comes to so many things...but one thing i will never take for granted is the men and women like you, who wether or not you want to be in the military for the right reasons...are doing it, and so, thanks. (even though you don't want to hear it)....
What a sad commentary - the good thing is that all the ones I know who are in the military don't think like you do.
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"What? You expect me to fight just because I joined the military!?!?!" Some want the benefits of the military but not the responsibility. How mature is that?
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